Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:5-7)
By the time you read this post, I will have had my appointment with my oncologist about the results of my recent CT scan. It’s difficult to wait. I admit, I’m anxious about it. Will the findings lead to more tests, another biopsy, more chemo?
I know anxiety isn’t from God. It does more harm than good. That’s why God would rather we cast all our concerns on Him and allow Him to ease our minds (1 Peter 5:7).
I want to be obedient. But this is a tall order. I’m battling with submitting and holding on to something over which I have no control. Sounds senseless to me as I type it. Why hang on to the anxiety? Why tighten my grip on something I can’t fix? Why not hand it over to the One who can do far more than we ask or even dream of asking?
I haven’t discussed my concerns with anyone. Why stir up anxiety in others? They can’t change anything. Besides, I may be worrying about nothing, right?
The best I can do is turn it over to God, trust Him, and do what I’m called to do. Write. Paint. Be a wife, mother, and grandmother. While I do those things, I’m not trying to fix, control, or figure out what’s going to happen next. I’m being obedient, which is the first and foremost important calling on my life.
I don’t have any answers today. I have to wait until my oncology appointment. In the meantime, I choose to live in today. I choose to display a cheerful attitude. I choose to have confidence in my Father who promised to hold me in the palm of His hand throughout this life.
I don’t know what the future holds. But I know who holds the future. I know He has a plan and a purpose for me. I know His purpose for me is to bring Him praise, honor, and glory in all things. And I know His plan is to give me opportunities to do that.
I cannot control the outcome of this disease. But I can control my level of submission. I can choose obedience. I can praise my Lord for His goodness, faithfulness, and grace in all circumstances.
How about you? What do you choose?
See you in a twinkling,
Brenda K. Hendricks
Coming after the exercise I just did at my therapist’s request, I felt even more empowered to choose to trust Jesus, to let go of my sin of pride, to forgive myself for past wrongs once and for all. The exercise, suggested to me several weeks ago, was to write a letter to myself as a tool to let go of guilt I’ve carried for 40 plus years. I kept putting it off, but today, after doing a Bible study lesson from a study guide Faith wrote for me years ago, a lesson on “tearing things out by the roots,” I knew my sin of pride was somewhat the main root-system. I took the therapist’s advice and wrote the letter.
In it, I told myself to picture me falling off a cliff … and still falling, as I did when I committed those sins of my youth. Then, I pictured Jesus, standing on a tiny ledge, arms open, catching me, pulling me close, soothing my trembling spirit, loving me. I saw His eyes, full of love and forgiveness. I wrote and wrote, offering my pride, my guilt, my life. I ended with picturing Him handing me a key to our house, putting me down beside the door, and bidding me enter to a new life of freedom.
What an amazing aroma filled the air – an aroma of peace, of mercy, of grace. Thank You, Jesus!
Praying for peace to fill you regardless of the results, knowing Jesus … just knowing Jesus.
Amen and thank you.
All things work for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. You right in saying that Jesus in many places in the bible to people and disciples not to be afraid for He has overcome the world.😃